Week 10 Blog Reviews

Amity Connolly

10/19

Overall, I thought this was a good post. I was a little confused on what you meant by “precious”, but I eventually realized you were referring to Jane’s daughter. I would make this a little more clear in the intro paragraph. I thought your references to consumer items were good as well. The part about Elmo was especially well-written. I thought the conclusive bit about the Little Tykes Playland that stands as a representation of that year of recall made a nice conclusion to the post.

10/21

This is another well-written post! Your first paraphrasing sentence seemed like it could have been broken down into more than one sentence. You did have a great intro to your source though. Your second paragraph ends with a quote, and usually I think quotes are best integrated if they are introduced AND explained afterwards. Lastly, I thought you made a great point in your final paragraph.

Katie Kosturik

10/19

The title worked really well for this post. One thing I noticed was that the phrase, “best friend and I” should be “best friend and me”. The last sentence of the post could use some commas because it was a little confusing to read. Overall, this post had a great usage of voice. I could almost hear you explaining this story to me. You really painted a picture in my mind of your experience, which is what a post like this should do. Great work!

10/21

I could not find a post for this date.